Monday, November 5, 2012

Vote. Seriously. Vote.

Ah yes, we've come to the point where I use my privilege as part of the "liberal media" to encourage you to vote.

Vote.

Do it.

If you don't vote, you are an idiot.

Sexy people vote.

People who don't vote tend to have weird scabs and smell funny.

Don't think your vote counts? Due to a matter beyond my control, I didn't vote once. It was during the 2000 election. I think we all know how that turned out. *shudder*

So I say to you once again: Vote.

Did I motherf*cking stutter?

Vote.

OK, I think I got my point across; so, onto the blog. I'm not going to tell you how I'm voting...
but O I'm sure B you can A read between M the lines A :)

What I am going to do is present you with some interesting election themed facts, to get you excited for voting on Nov. 6th. Yay!


  • So, why is Election Day always the Tuesday on or after Nov. 2? Well, November was chosen because it's after the harvest. Tuesday was chosen because old-timey people usually had to travel a whole day to go vote and most people couldn't travel on Sunday's because of religious reasons. And it couldn't be on Tuesday Nov. 1 because that's All Saints Day.
  • The presidents who won the most states? 1).Richard Nixon. Yep, Tricky Dick carried 49 states, all but Massachusetts. And 2). Ronald Reagan- he won all but Minnesota. Ya betcha.
  • Ok, what's the deal with the Donkey and the Elephant? Well, not much really. These symbols were both created by 1800's cartoonist Thomas Nash for Harper's Bazaar. That's really about all I could find...without reading, like, a WHOLE wikipedia article. Pshht.
  • "But more importantly," you ask "which president had a pet alligator?" That would be John Quincy Adams and Herbert Hoover. Other weird presidential pets include: Thomas Jefferson's two bear cubs, Teddy Roosevelt's badger, William Henry and Benjamin Harrison's goats and Martin Van Buren's 2 two tiger cubs.
  • James Garfield could write in Latin with one hand and Ancient Greek with the other. George W. Bush could barely read/write/speak English.
  • A presidential candidate must earn at least 270 electoral votes, otherwise the president is decided by the House of Representatives.
  • The 2008 election was the only election in which 2 sitting senators were running against each other. It was also the only election in which BOTH candidates were born outside of the continuous United States- Barack Obama was born in Hawaii and John McCain was born on a US naval base in the Panama Canal Zone. Take that, Birthers.
  • Some interesting presidential nicknames that could double as porn titles- James Monroe: "The Last Cocked Hat," John Quincy Adams: "Old Man Eloquent," Zachary Taylor: "Old Rough and Ready," James Buchanan: "Old Buck," Calvin Coolidge: "Silent Cal," and Harry S. Truman: "Give 'Em Hell, Harry."  Old-timey people were pervs.
  • The tallest prez was Lincoln at 6'4", the shortest was Madison at 5'4". Daniel Day Lewis is playing Lincoln in the upcoming biopic...no word on if Tom Cruise has accepted the role of Madison yet.
  • Jimmy Carter was the first president born in a hospital. Wait, what? Really? Where/how were the previous presidents born? Weird.
  • Speaking of Carter, he was the 6th cousin of Richard Nixon. Also weird.
  • Gerald Ford- yes that Gerald Ford- was a fashion model in the 1940's. He even graced the cover of Cosmopolitan. And, a little known fact- he was the first to do the infamous Burt Reynold's pose. OK, that part's not true...just seeing if you are paying attention.
  • Warren G. Harding once gambled and lost all the white house china in one hand of cards...I guarantee you that a woman president wouldn't pull that kind of crap.
  • Speaking of women, the 19th Amendment (women's right to vote) was signed into law on August 26, 1920. Some countries that had women's suffrage before the US: Tasmania, Norway, Sweden, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Lithuania, Rhodesia, Estonia and Latvia...to name a few. Yeah, motherf*cking Latvia gave women the right to vote before the US.
  • The 15th Amendment gave the right to vote to African Americans in 1870, but it wasn't until 1965 that congress passed the Voting Right Act, which outlawed discriminatory voting practices. It was about damn time.
People have fought long and hard to secure the right to vote. I think you owe it to them to get down to the polls and perform your civic duty. I'm so serious about this that I'm not even going to make a childish joke about my use of the word "duty."

I'd like to end with a quote from FranklinD. Roosevelt: "Nobody will ever deprive the American people of the right to vote except the American people themselves and the only way they could do this is by not voting."