Friday, January 6, 2012

No Sh*t...Shut Your Mouth! I'm Just Talking About Sherlock

Well, today I'm getting off to a late start. I've spent all morning and early afternoon submitting resumes. Yep. I'm back on the job hunt. And it is grim, my friends. Of course, I'm being VERY picky about where I apply. After spending 10 years in purgatory...er, I mean- an office job- I'm trying to make damn sure I don't get stuck in an un-inspiring environment again. What I'm finding is that I need to read between the lines of each job posting to pick up clues about the potential employer. "Great Entry Level Position" means "Low Pay." "Fun Environment" usually means just the opposite: "Not A Very Fun Environment." "Room for Promotion" means "After We Get You Trained, We Will Pile On More Tasks...For The Same Pay." In short, this job search is making me feel like a detective. Like Sherlock Holmes!

How's that for a segue? Too bad no one's hiring for a "Segue Writer"...not to be confused with a Segway Rider...got to love those homophones:)

So let's get down to the dirty, sexy facts on Sherlock Holmes....I'm also available for copy writing gigs.


  • Holmes was introduced to audiences in 1887 in a short story called "A Study in Scarlet" which was published in Beeton's Christmas Annual. In this story, Holmes is introduced to Watson, who was in London looking for lodging.
  • What about the weapons? Well, every good main character has some and Holmes is no exception. Throughout his "storied" career, Holmes has carried a cane, pistols, a sword, and a riding crop (kinky!).
  • The rumors are true. Holmes was a coke head (which makes the movie casting of Robert Downey Jr. really interesting). He also dug on morphine. But, at the time both cocaine and morphine were legal....of course this didn't stop people from getting addicted. AND, it was common practice to try to cure opiate addiction with cocaine. This is kind of like suggesting that Lindsay Lohan should be Owen Wilson's drug counselor....
  • Holmes was a failure. Well, to be clear, Arthur Conan Doyle's first two short stories that introduced Sherlock Holmes were failures. But, eventually popularity picked up.
  • The phrase "Elementary, my dear Watson" never appeared in the books. I suspect that his is a mis-translation that got started by cocaine-morphine addicted readers.
  • The word "Sherlock" means "blonde." But most of the actors who have played Holmes have been brunette...Owen Wilson, are you listening? Now's your chance, man!
Well, these are just a few random facts. I'm sure Holmes fans have much more extensive knowledge...but what do you expect from an unemployed segue writer?  

Anyway, it just so happens that today's blog post corresponds with today's featured sale item...It's elementary, my dear Watson:)



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