Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Land of Enchantment

I just got back from a 6 day road trip to, and throughout,  New Mexico. No joke. And guess what? New Mexico is super great.

And its citizens- New Mexicans- are really, really nice. Like, "what the fuck is in your water that makes you so nice?" nice. Like, "wow, I feel like an asshole for not being as nice as you" nice. Like, "I want to offer you money for being so nice" nice. 

The state nickname is The Land of Enchantment, but I think it should be The Land of Ridiculously Friendly People. 

But let me back up and explain what I was doing in New Mexico.

A wonderful burlesque performer named Vivian Miran from A Guilded Cage Burlesque invited me to perform at ABurlyQ, a burlesque and sideshow weekender in Albuquerque. I was instantly flattered to be asked to perform burlesque out of Colorado, that I jumped at the opportunity. Oh, and I also accepted because Vivan Miran is super nice (see the aforementioned "nice" rant).

So, the husband and I decided to make a little road trip vacation out of it.

We started out by staying the night in Santa Fe. Previously, I had only driven past Santa Fe, so it was pretty cool to spend some time there. It's a nice (there's that word again) city. I thought all the adobe buildings were adorable. There's something rather charming about eating in an adobe style IHOP.  
Also, Santa Fe has this:

This is not the mailbox you are looking for.

And, more importantly, Santa Fe has this:

Let me explain. In Colorado, we do not have Trader Joe's. Our choices are limited to Safeway, King Soopers, etc. If you want something different, you have to take out a bank loan and shop at Whole Foods. Ever since I moved back to Colorado from California, I have desperately missed Trader Joe's. If there's not a Trader Joe's where you live, then don't bother researching will just be sad that you don't have access to healthy, fresh, extremely reasonably priced food.  Oh, and of course, the famous 2 Buck Chuck wine...which is now actually $2.99.

One more thing about Santa Fe. This is the first place that I tried lingua....and although "lingua" sounds like a French sex act, it's actually just beef tongue; you pervs. I tried it in taco form (minds out of the gutter, please). It was....well, it was a beef tongue. It might have been ok if it didn't still have the taste buds on it. I still haven't quite recovered from that. I will leave the adventurous eating for fat bald men on the Travel Channel. Not willing to take culinary risk, the next meal I had was at the aforementioned adobe IHOP.

The next day, we drove to Albuquerque. Here's a sign that greets you:
Good to know that Albuquerque has a sense of humor...I think. Albuquerque is a hip town; from what I could tell by my few days spent there. Prior to being there, my only impression of Albuquerque was from Breaking Bad. I expected to see a bunch of Brian Cranstons wearing hasmat suits and a great deal of tweaked out meth fiends. I did not see that. I just saw nice people. Oh, and green chili/chile. Lots of green chili.
We stayed at the Hotel Blue, a sixties era hotel that had been renovated with more modern amenities. But their pool was still straight up sixties style....My fellow Peaks and Pasties gals decided take a dip. We may or may not have been in compliance with the pool rules:
I'm pretty sure we weren't supposed to play in this fountain; but it really did make for a cute picture. And really, that's what's important. (in picture from left to right: Jacy O'Feelya, Cherry Glitterbomb, Ruby Sparkle, Whiskey Darling (me)).

On Saturday night, I was fortunate enough to perform at the historic Sunshine Theatre. The theatre opened in 1924 and showed first run movies through the 1970's. In the 1980's, it was put on the historic registry and turned into a venue for bands. And burlesque:
This is a picture of me performing my "Drink" act at the Sunshine Theatre. I really am performing a burlesque act. I swear. Even though it looks like I'm a crazy lady who wandered on stage in her bath robe to drink some whiskey....well, that's kind of what happened....but this time, the venue wanted me to do that. I was honored to share the stage with some burlesque greats, including: Satan's Angel, Gyna Rose Jewel, Vivan Miran, IntoxiKate, Tallulah St. James, Kisa Von Teasa, Freya West, Siren Santina, and of course, my Peaks & Pasties girls- Lola Spitfire, Ruby Sparkle Cherry Glitterbomb, Bunny Bee, and Jace O'Feelya. It was an outstanding night!

Sunday, we went shopping on Central Avenue, near UNM. Central is also part of the historic Route 66, and some of the old signs and motels are still in operation. It was pretty cool to see that piece of americana. Then I stopped into a Starbucks.

Monday, we got up early, ate some green chili breakfast burritos (delicious) and headed to the Museum of Nuclear Science:
Perhaps I should take a moment to explain the jackalope. My husband purchased this carved wood bundle of joy at a farmer's market a few days earlier. We named him Gordon Lightfoot. He is our spirit guide. He speaks in a Canadian accent and tells us obvious, but useful advice- like "always wear sunscreen, ay."
Back to the museum. It was neat; thought provoking, heartbreaking, and interesting. And while we were there, they were filming a Nova special. Troy and I video-bombed it (no pun intended). Here's some of the pics from the museum:

 Replica of the Fat Man bomb (above) which as used by the U.S. on Nagasaki. I really didn't know how to pose next to this, which explains the weird look on my face. I mean really, how does one pose next to a replica of a weapon that caused the destruction of a city and took the lives of thousands of innocent people?
Navy plane (above). Troy instructed me to do a Top Gun pose. All I could remember is the scene when they played I pretended to set a ball.
Blurry Einstien puppet (above). Because, when I think about a serious discussion about the possibilities and repercussions of nuclear power, I think Einstein puppet.
Here, the museum shows some of the influence nuclear history has had on pop culture. One item that is missing: and sort of reference to Back to the Future. Also, the docent was also unable to answer my question of how much plutonium is needed to generate 1.21 jigawatts of power. I think I will need to donate my copy of Back to the Future to the museum.

After the museum we left Albuquerque and drove to San Antonio, New Mexico; home of the Buckhorn Tavern. The Buckhorn Tavern is home of "The Seventh Best Hamburger in the U.S." I have to agree. It was a pretty damn good burger. It might have been the seventh best one I've ever had. And I've had A LOT of hamburgers.

Full of delicious green chile burgers, we headed out for Roswell. But first, we made a stop in Lincoln, home to the Lincoln County Wars. Those of you who were fans of the movie Young Guns, would be interested in this...or was it Young Guns 2? I really don't care. We stopped because Troy wanted to. Here's a bullet hole from Billy the Kid. Supposedly.:

Next stop, Roswell.
Yep. Roswell.
We got into town around 5pm. And guess what? Everything is closed by 5pm. So, we checked into a hotel then went to one of the few places that was still open.... Wal-Mart. I'm not proud of this, but we did need to kill time. And, I found this there:
I drank alien beer and watched The Office reruns in the hotel room. Troy passed the time by messing around in photo shop:
Pretty decent work for dealing with an "alien beer" drunk model and a spotty internet connection. Good job, Troy:)

The next day, we ate breakfast. IHOP again, which is weird because I think I've been to an IHOP about 5 times in my life and 2 of those times were on this trip.

Then, we went to the UFO Museum. I really thought that it was going to be super hokey and full of nut jobs. That was not entirely the case. For the most part, the exhibits were well explained, informative, factual, and left open to your interpretation of the existence of little green men. Then there were the exhibits like this:
And this:
I like how it looks like I'm consulting on the "alien autopsy."

So, do I believe in aliens? Don't know. But I think it's fun to believe in aliens, so let's go with that.

Since there's not that much else to do in Roswell, except BELIEVE and Watch The Skies, we decided to start back home.

But, of course we had to stop in Santa Fe once again to stop at Trader Joe's:
Yeah, we filled up the car with candy, coffee, and booze. Not really all that different from what we would normally do on a Tuesday afternoon, but this time it was in Santa Fe!

And here's our bounty:
Mmmmm..... Diabetic coma......

So, our trip to The Land of Enchantment was a total success. I would recommend a road trip there, anytime!

And now, I have to pander.....So, want to vote for me for Best Local Blogger in the Colorado Springs Independent? If so, here's the link:  Just type in Whiskey Darling or Bottom's Up With Whiskey Darling....or the name of a blog that you actually read:)

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