Friday, April 1, 2011

Let's Talk Ostrich

Well, today's blog post is about Ostriches. I'm mainly talking about this today because I just submitted my ostrich act to the Colorado Burlesque Festival and I figured that sending out ostrich vibes today might bring me some good luck. (You can watch the video here if you're curious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEwqEKRn0dU )
But, enough about me. Let's talk Ostrich.
  • Ostriches DON'T stick their heads in the ground when face with danger. A species that did that could never survive. They do, however, lie their heads down flat on the ground when they are sleeping, which might be where this myth comes from.
  • Ostriches are just not that smart. Their eyes are the size of billiard balls and since they're eyes are so big and their skulls are so small, there's not much room left for a brain. Their brains are smaller than their eyeballs. This might explain why they tend to run in circles when chased by predators. Aw, you kind have to love something that is that stupid.
  • Ostriches are the largest living bird in the world. They can grow up to ten feet tall. Because of their height, they were used to pull chariots in ancient Egypt....But that didn't work out so well because they have a temper. Mean and stupid. They could be reality TV stars. But, I'm pretty sure ostriches aren't indigenous to the Jersey shore.
  • They kick forwards, not backwards. And an ostrich kick can kill a person. No joke. Mean, stupid, and strong kickers....
  • They can't fly, but they can run. They are the second fastest land animal. Now if they could just figure out how to not run in circles...
  • Although the ostrich is native to Africa, the Black African Ostrich can be found in captivity in over 50 countries in the world. They even have ostrich farms in Alaska.
  • Ostriches can live up to 60 years. So don't piss an ostrich off. They've got time to track you down and kick you.
Goofy, mean, stupid, but beautiful. If that's not the makings of a great necklace, I don't know what is. http://www.etsy.com/listing/71245399/ostrich-necklace-retro-statement-blue
Use coupon code BLOG15 for 15% off

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