Friday, February 18, 2011

Be True to Your Teeth or They'll Be False to You

I"ll admit it. I'm an anti-dentite. You know what the difference is between a dentist and a sadist, don't you? Newer magazines. What do you call a doctor that fails out of med school? A dentist. Yeah, I stole those two jokes from 1990's Seinfeld. But they still hold up, don't they?
While I have my issues with dentists (I've been through 3 in the past 5 years and am currently shopping around for a new one) I do realize the importance of dentistry and keeping your teeth healthy. I mean, I'll be damned if I let my distrust of dentists prevent me from eating corn on the cob.

So, as an olive branch from myself to the dentist community, I offer these interesting facts:

1.73% of Americans would rather go grocery shopping than floss.
2. Dentists recommend keeping your toothbrush at least 6 feet from your toilet to avoid "airborne particles" (read: flying ass-matter) when you flush. Great. One more thing that I have to be paranoid about.
3. Adults with a post-high school degree have an average of 3 more teeth than those without a high school degree.
4. Most popular toothbrush color? Blue. Even in red states. Weird.
5. The average woman smiles 62 times a day. The average man smiles 8 times a day. No, really. We're laughing with you, not at you....
6. The most amount of money ever paid for a tooth? Over $3000 in the 1800's for Sir Isaac Newton's tooth. In today's currency, that's over $35,000. The tooth was set into a ring. Creepy. And kind of cool.
7. According to a 2002 study, people with red hair are more sensitive to pain and require more novocaine. Let's call this phenomenon Ginger-vitis!
8. Only 28% of Americans claim to floss, and researchers suggest that it's actually less than that. Seriously, people. You need to floss. I even floss and I'm pretty much the laziest person ever.
9. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
10. What's a dentist's favorite time? Tooth-hurty. (That's for my husband. I think that's the only joke he knows.)
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  1. very interesting dental facts...okay now its time for me to go and floss :P :P

  2. I agree with the "Ginger-vitis" thing, as our youngest daughter (a natural redhead) requires a lot of pain meds and laughing gas when even getting her teeth cleaned. I don't know why... Thanks, again, Whiskey!